Not a team

Alarmingly, I am not a team player. I am arrogant, despicable, conceited and very probably in receipt of laundered funds from the Dutch Antilles. In short, I am altogether evil.

Such is the verdict delivered by my erstwhile partners in wikidom, the SSK13 gang of two.

After weeks of stress and will-we-won’t-we-fire-you games with my new boss, it is becoming increasingly apparent that the new job at Abigroup will not be smooth sailing, or at least… not yet.

This, a raging mortgage, my best-friend’s neighbour’s twice-removed half-sister’s cousin's redundancy and my none-too-happy bride, have conspired to put my back out.

After three visits to the physio, I can at least walk upright: whether I will have a job to return to next week is less certain.

But, no. Plainly, I am the scum of the earth. Satan incarnate (or does Linda Blair have that sewn up?).

My parents, doubtless, will be shattered, poor lambs.


ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER ONES: BACK-STABBING, SYCOPHANCY AND CHARACTER ASSASSINATION, WIKI STYLE.

It is true. I helped my colleagues. Singular arrogance.

I changed the layout of their pages. The audacity.

I failed to correct the layout of all of their pages: heinous pride.

Note to self: Next time, get in early, design a template for the group to use, and retreat to your own page.

Somehow, I suspect this is not the conclusion the lecturers had hoped I might reach, and perhaps they will have luck if they re-examine me in six months.

By then, no doubt, I will have reflected on my behaviour, considered the impropriety of assisting my colleagues in the eleventh hour, and decided that it would have been better to have left them to their fate.

(Of course, the real learning is… get in earlier, communicate, get buy-in, and bask in the glow of team love. But my back went out, see? Perhaps I should have taken up the physio's offer of a letter).

wiki’s are like handing dynamite to a three year old: easy to deploy, most difficult to repair. Without a good working knowledge of html, things would have dire for me indeed.

Except, of course, for my writing skills. But then again, some of the claims the team made were so wildly insubstantial that I blanched at how to suggest they could be in error.

The first organised sports were run by the IOC, indeed. Before that, presumably, no-one played sport?